I run my own race

I have seen people getting competitive over smallest of small things, thinking life is a race.And they have to be better than everyone else.I somehow do not care.It doesn’t mean that I am not capable enough.The thing is I was never much into sports or any kind of games.That’s just the way I am.I enjoy playing generally for fun, but when it comes to a game against someone, the competitive aspect makes me uncomfortable. Sometimes just the thought of competition suffocates me.And when I see people around me getting all competitive, I start thinking if I am doing something wrong or missing something. Don’t misunderstand me, I am not totally competitive.It’s just that for some reason I never cared all that much whether I beat others or lost to them.This sentiment is pretty much unchanged after I grew up.It doesn’t matter what field you are talking about, beating somebody else just doesn’t do it for me.Lack of competitive instinct need not imply a lack of ambition or a goal.I am much more interested in whether I reach the goals that I set for myself.

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It must be the way I was brought up, the environment or it must have to do something with me being shy(again, that’s a whole different story)or it must just be me, I was never a competitive person.And I have made my peace with it.And yet, in School, when I didn’t get the grades  I expected or didn’t land appreciation or promotion at the job, I would feel a strange twinge of jealousy towards those who had. But that was just for that moment.I would quickly remind myself not to compare, it wasn’t a competition.When You start competing with others it is like a never-ending quest. While you were out pursuing your career, someone else got the wedding and the kid you wanted; while you were training for that marathon, someone else has traveled the World; And there is someone who did not struggle as much as you did but still, they are in a better position than you are today. When you look at the broad scope of everything your friends are doing, which is way too easy these days, given all the social media market where we can show off our lives online.

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I am competitive with myself.I want to be better than I was yesterday and the day before. I want to accept new challenges and rise to them and that means competing with my past self. It means striving to surpass the targets I’ve set in order to set new ones. It means trying things I haven’t tried before and given it my best when I do. It doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to make mistakes or fail or not excel in certain areas, it simply means that I won’t provide any lazy justification for not doing my best.

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I want  change in my life, I want disruptions in my life.I want things to make me think and pause, make me work, make me wonder, challenge me to new things and help me see things differently, I want things to inspire me constantly and help me work towards my goal ultimately.When you compete with yourself, you are, essentially, dismissing other people’s measures for success. You might find yourself pursuing something that would seem crazy or like a waste of time to someone else, but it doesn’t matter anymore , you aren’t subject to what they think of you. You only have to answer to yourself.Are you working hard enough?? Are you doing everything you could possibly do to live the life you want?? Only you can answer these questions for yourself, and when it is just you, you are forced to be honest or forgiving of yourself as nobody else would be.At the end, You have to run your own race.Someone is always going to better than you at something, I want to remain my own competitor.

“She Silently Stepped Out of the race that she never wanted to be in,found her own lane and proceeded to win”

 

 

 

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